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An Indian Author’s Pain: “Mumma & Pappa forgive me for having written this !”

I am afraid , I am very much scared . I am a 14 year old .I loved writing until a few days ago . I would not forget to update my blog every night , even while I did not do my assignments . I am quite brave , I thought of myself . I aspire to become an author one day , to grow up and help joining hands in building a ‘cool bharat’ , I am quite ambitious you can say .

My dreams lay shattered and courage cries out in vain. My hope loses hope and heart trembles . My fear is not without a cause , I am growing up in a nation where an author is forced to announce “I am dead” (Perumal Murugan ) , I am growing up in a nation where the editors are hounded for having re-published a satirical cartoons ( Shirin Dalvi) , I am growing up in a nation where a girl questioning the shut down of the financial capital of the country because of a politician’s funeral is attacked , even arrested (Bal Thackeray’s funeral ) . These being only a few of the rare reported and highlighted cases , there are innumerable unknown tales of how incredible india is .

I am afraid , I am scared . Mumma & Pappa , now I understand why you never wanted me to write . You probably were aware of how cruel the world could be . Last night I wrote an article , I realized your fears were true , disagreements would have been fine but people here really do not know how to ‘disagree’ , they would sit in the Chief Justice’s chair pass comments titling my work with numerous sexual abuses . I wish they learnt some sense .

I grew up listening , rebel against the wrong , but do not hurt anyone . Either these people who stone cinemas the moment they feel their ‘god’ has been insulted , or they attack writers and authors with black ink . Shame . Protest is not a disease , violence surely is .

Mumma , I know had you known I was writing this piece , I would have never been allowed to write this . You would have told me “ I love you so much , the world is stupid” , it surely is . The truth is we are very weak . We are not strong enough to even listen forget accepting ,things which are not in our favour . We are like those arrogant bulls , who would brainlessly march towards the red cloth . On the name of religion and dignity , we have entitled ourselves to torture and harass just anybody on this planet who goes against us .

Hey you ! Get that straight , I am no less fearless than Mallala . I am not afraid of your bullets and stones . I do not fear you and your narrow mindsets , shrunk to considerably minute size , I am not frightened of you ! I am bold and brave . If you do not know how to behave and react , I do not know how to stop calling a spade a spade , if you do not know how to respect opinions , I do not know how to respect you .

With utmost regards , I do not wish to disgrace you or your religion , your beliefs or your faith , your understandings of dharma . I respect them as much as you do . But sir and ma’am I will not think twice before questioning your practices and actions , be it whichever colour . I will speak what the truth is , even what my opinion to a situation is , and you are nobody to deprive me my constitutional rights .

I really do not understand why do you try and branding just everything as a ‘disgrace’ to yourself , or rather why do you take it so personally ? And evenwhile you take , why do you lose yourself to violence ? Sir , protest and oppositions are a very healthy part of democracy and must you learn how to ‘rebel’ !
My fears ,put me in dilemma of survival in a society which is highly intolerant , incapable of listening to criticism . I do not wish to grow up writing in a country , where being an author or artist is a license of being attacked by anybody , no matter how stupid there reasons may be .
I wish , I wish , I wish .